bit.ly if you follow this advice, you’re an idiot. Hi, I’m Tom Spencer… and I’m thin. I wasn’t always this svelt though — believe it or not, I used to weigh almost 100 unsightly pounds . But I managed to get rid of the excess weight and bring myself to the average size of a pre-pubescent teen with the help of a 6 step system I developed called Weight Loss 4 Idiots. Here’s how it works…Step 1 — Diet & Nutrition… is for losers. Don’t worry about what you eat – just don’t eat! Fat people don’t get fat by starving themselves, which means skinny people do get skinny by not eating. It’s a proven technique in many third world countries and it can work for you too wherever you live. Step 2 — Excercise… all the time. You don’t need some moderate activity for a few minutes a day — you need intense activity throughout ALL of the day. Always be moving and never sit still because sitting is for fatties. A minimum of 16 hours of vigorous activity each day (on an empty stomach) will help you shed pounds and turn into a lean, mean, almost non-human machine!Step 3 — Sleep… is overrated. So don’t do it! — ever. You burn the least amount of calories when you’re lying there like an obese log of sadness and despair, so scrap the sleep and watch the pounds melt away throughout the day and night! Keep yourself awake by any means necessary. Slap yourself. Get someone else to slap you. Electrocute yourself! Whatever it takes – because every extra bit of sleep you get results in …

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